I go to China every day…in my mind. Its not the same at all obviously. But its all I’ve got. Some days I get so caught up in all the things that I have to do here and in my ‘normal life’, that I don’t think as much about it. All it takes though is for some random scent, or sound or something that reminds my senses of where I’ve been and what I know and I am taken right back to the big blue house. Some days are hard. Today was hard for some reason. I miss my kids. I miss their innocence and their love and their never ending hugs. I miss being constantly surrounded by the reality that I hold so close to my heart. There is something about the experience of living under the same roof as the motherless and fatherless, about seeing their struggles and sicknesses, about holding a precious three year old boy as he breathed his last breath…that makes me feel so guilty to be over here without it. I wake up every morning and go about my business, teaching my students (who I constantly remind myself need me as well), I hang out with my friends, I play with my dogs, I call my family, I go to a grocery store that sells packaged meat and cold milk…I do all the things that make living in America so wonderful. And I tell myself that all of those things are ok. If I’m over here, I can’t be over there. I can’t be doing anything other than giving my monthly donation. So I go about my day and go to China in my mind when I let myself.
Over the past couple weeks however, I have really started to realize what gift I have been blessed with in all of this. God has given me a voice. I am being given the ability to speak for those who can’t speak for themselves. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am never at a loss for words so it seems pretty obvious that God would give me the responsibility to talk. Having the opportunity to speak at FBC Morristown several weeks ago made me even more aware of how natural it is to speak about my passion. When I started writing this blog at the beginning of the summer, my only intention was to let my close friends and family know what was going on since I could not call them. I am still constantly overwhelmed from the response I have gotten and the following that it has had. And I thank God for that. I don’t for one second want anyone to think that I take any credit for the words that I write. I know that they are divinely inspired and I know that it is a privilege to be used in this way. I write all this to ask you to pray for me as I have been given my next ‘writing assignments’. I have been asked to write for an online women’s magazine called destinyinbloom.com and for the Nashville Christian Family magazine. I have also been asked to speak at a church in Florida on Orphan Sunday in November ( things are still pending on that one on my end ) So specifically pray that I will be given a clear message and inspired words. I feel like every time I will be given this opportunity, I am getting to speak for Theo and Lebron and Jessica and Martina and Carissa and Jack and Ryan…and those are words that I do not want to waste. I look forward to the chance for God to use me to expand the range of people who need to know about the orphan crisis. Thanks for reading always and thanks especially for praying.
Love from Nashville!